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Couples are often worried on a single most issue either in their married life or during their courtship stage:  the quantum of romanticism in their lives, yes, less romance between them. Naira is often complaining, “My bf (boyfriend) is so boring!”.  Mrs. Sonakshi reeled over when she is heard saying, “My husband is not so cool”! And isn’t it surprising that 80 percent of women are reeling for romance, while the majority of men especially in their married life hardly cares?  They have no regrets whether their gf (girlfriend) or better half is romantic or not?

To be less romantic means no more champagne soaked candlelight dinners with rose petalled strewn bed, going on dates or proposing love or marriage. As in movies it is like putting the symphonic moments with anything that’s so touching and soothing.  But in reality, this is all a farce, retaining behind the veils of unprecedented travails of life soaked in marriage or courtship.

Many couples are literally puzzled, should we have to prove, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, but for some, the answer is simply no.

But without going into the literary versions of romantic flair, peep into the reality, a life of a couple who have loathed themselves in the daily overtures.  They have already crossed the youthful pangs, and are now living where romance for them is the only obligation.  

However, a couple whether married or unmarried need “we time” and when they do not get it, their complaints continue.  At least, one partner feels an empty vacuity in life, which has become stale, colourless and tasteless. Their previous dreams before marriage get shattered, feeling like stabbing when devoid of expected spectacles.

In fact, the word romance has many shades, with its meaning different for different romancing couples. For some it is like enjoying getting wet together in rain or crossing the road with folded hands, but for some, it is like changing a baby’s diaper or repairing a broken backyard wall together. Love has many different shades and so has romance. It immerses as deep as the ocean that it would take it years to realize and feel essence. 

So though romantic couple retains “we time” momentum, they do not carry it for many days. Eventually, we have to refrain from it.

 But, as Audrey Niffenegger says, “Don’t you think it’s better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it than to be just okay for your whole life?”  As a couple, whatever years of married life spend together, we should keep our romantic pangs burning, “pangs of those chocolates, roses, dining out,  and fun of unlimited galore”, and to gain the wings of freedom, of not the forced choice but what we enjoy. 

There is nothing less or nothing priceless than spending a few hours together, only in each other company, holding each other arms and looking at each other eyes.

Create the romance in marriage with an instinctual effort; get back to the time when you had first time met. It is not hard to retain spontaneity in romance while in marriage or live in relationship, or between bf and a gf, but it is you only who have to keep the momentum of it alive.

Read our next article to know what you should do to retrain the romantic relationship and to not say “Are You Less Romantic?”

15th July 2019
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